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01:10pm 20/11/2011
mood: blah
I swear I want to update this but by the time I do, a ton of time has passed. Things have been really tight with money, my computer is now third generation and is on the steps to be 3.5 since I now have working RAM but shit for a graphics card. Had to stop by the hospital a couple weeks ago thanks to having this chest pressure and sharp pain in my left arm. Turns out it wasn't an emergency thing but they said to see a non-ER doctor (oh sure, I'll just run RIGHT out and get a doctor since they're free and all, OH WAIT). Only thing they said was I have kind of high-ish blood pressure (which is a big DUH since that runs in my family and I know I'd wind up with it). Friends and doctors say it's stress/acid reflex, but I have been through FAR worse for it to be stress and heart burn doesn't feel like someone punching you in the chest and keeping their hand there on it. God damn body, I need a new one~

Only new video I made for Youtub was a couple second intro one and hadn't made a new one in forever as the prop I want to use is an animated one. BUUUUUT Flash loves to crash on me constantly, and I also happen to suck at drawing in Flash~ May have to do a few vids sans prop just so I have more than one video on it. I have one that will require drawing but will be minimal and I know it'll be a good hit, but I haven't worked on it. Last vid I made was a quick throw-together, unscripted and all that so it was on the net as fast as possible. It involves a shitty glitch in Skyrim that people have run into and only solved by "turning off auto save". For a no script AND quick throw-together, I think this vid serves it's point AND looks alright~
AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh need to update!   
03:10am 29/11/2010
mood: tired

Yeah, I forgot to update you majorly yet again LJ. The last time I posted, I said I was going to go to the doctors to get an MRI. Turns out they're expensive and the only way I'd get one is if I passed out again or something happens and I need an emergency scan. So, the question of "is something wrong with me" is still a big question mark.

I don't have any fun and exciting adventures to share in the big time skip from last entry to this one... so, I'll just ramble about what happened tonight.

Harry Potter spoilers kindaCollapse )

As we get home, I filled the house with irony as just as Jess downstairs proclaimed that we'll be moving out of this shitty apartment soon and things will be better, I cut in from upstairs with cries of "no no no fucking fuck damn". I saw a few people say that Leslie Neilson was dead, and I headed over to deadoraliveinfo.com and sure enough, he was listed =c I still say Bob Barker should have died before him.

Don't know what else to say now... Head's not feeling right and it's late. But I haven't forgotten you LJ, and I'll try again to post in you more. I know only like, three people really read this thing, but it's still nice to update. I feel a bit better doing at least this entry. Time to end this entry with zazz... First, something I could see Shawn totally doing. Don't deny it. You know you would. Maybe not this song, but you know what I mean =B

And something that reminds me of Mike and what wacky adventures he could have had at the AMPM but never told us.

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Rally HO!   
09:49pm 15/07/2010
mood: aggravated
After the blacking out and landing on me face incident, Jess an' folks say I need to get checked up. That means I get to go to the hospital, fill out paperwork if possible, wait around for hours, have the doctor poke, prod, and feel me up (maybe take blood too. ...fucking vampires...), wait around in a Downy paper towel gown, then get an MRI, which either my technological killing touch will break, or the following will result....

Okay, I'm not THAT fat, but fuck, those machines are small for Rayman and I've seen him jump through a chicken wire fence! I'm not incredibly fat, but by golly I'm one pudgy bastard, and I know it's gonna suck being shoved in that can. ...I'll have played the role of biscuit dough D=

Over all that, most likely I'll just be told to eat better, drink more water, and blah blah fucking blah like every other doctor visit I ever had/been to/seen in my life. Yeah. Waking up in the middle of major teeth surgery, having a doctor say my leg will be fine, doctors thinking my mom is fine when she had gangrene somewhere in her and almost killing her, and doctors "extending" my grandmother's shelf life so she can suffer four more years has taught me that the medical world sucks balls and won't help me and my kind. ....so, why am I going to get scanned again?

I will update with results after I get them.
07:26pm 14/07/2010
  My body shut down on itself and I face planted and messed up my glasses today. I later realized I hadn't updated my journals in forever.

Man, I never got on the ball on updating this thing =/ Seen Toy Story 3 which was FUCKING AWESOME and was prolly the best movie ever (god damn movie guys, THAT'S how you do a series that grew up with an audience, and how to end the franchise!). Seriously, go see it or pirate it if you have to. You will laugh, you will cry, you will love the movie. Sometime last month, or, month before? By Sithis I don't remember... Wull, sometime ago I was taken to the zoo here (Fort Worth?) and it was pretty cool. Got a carousel pop which I thought were to be extinct by now and saw some cool animals. The giraffes and otters were cool as always ^^ Not too many wolves and big cats like the Phoenix zoo I went to when I was little. Though, the Cougars were REALLY close and the tiger pen had one of those safety plastic walls you can look through (one was lounging up near it ^^ ).

My computer is as fixed as it can get until I get a new motherboard/more RAM. I can't play any games on it and sometimes it slows down if I run more than two things at once, but at least it's not erasing itself and crashing like it used to. ...though, I don't get why my computer things it's from 1969...I guess my tech-death touch turned my OS into a Time Lord Oo I don't know... My drawing has gotten so sluggish, I think I can outrun it by now D= BUT, I'm getting a bit better in OC, and I'm getting closer to have a set up so I can make some Flash toons (for fun and for Youtub since my camera suuuuucks balls).

Let's see... Only other news I had was once the Texas something something of something wanted to sue us back for food stamp money because THEY messed up. Apparently, the person who messed up at the office was supposed to also represent us (yeah, what?). Then she didn't admit it was her fault. Then she DIDN'T SHOW UP ON THE COURT DATE TO DEFEND HERSELF OR US. ....needless to say, that bitch should not have her life her job, but this IS America, so, she prolly got promoted for fucking things up =\

My heads kinda starting to hurt and I honestly don't have any amusing or informative info to post here... Please stay tuned for some exciting advertisement until the next update!

[A copy/pasta for Facebook]   
09:13pm 19/03/2010
mood: accomplished
The following is a message directed to John Andrew and Alex of Bee street:

I believe you guys had blocked me on here, thinking I was a nobody who randomly reported them to get their house investigated by the county. Well, untill I can get this account changed with my other name at the top, I gotta deal with my shitty real name up there. But most people should know another name I go by. Chase. You both sent back messages saying "you don't know OUR side of the story", and Alex said how "this is like high school". Sorry, but when does living like a dirt ball have anything to do with high school? Did you live in a trash dump when you were in high school? If you had, then WHY THE FUCK DO YOU LEAVE YOUR OWN HOUSE LIKE THAT? And if your best argument of being reported is "you don't know MY side of the story" to strangers, then fuck you. Make yourself a case and show me evidence of you not living like some trash hoarder if I never seen the inside of your place. But I *lived* in that shit hole you people had called a home for three months and it felt like six. I KNOW what the fuck the inside of the house was like and how you treated your living space and animals. I have pictures and video documentation of the house, even in a five-day evolution process of when the kitchen was cleaned by Jess until the end of the week when you people kept cluttering things up more and more. You are all a bunch of niggers who deserve to be homeless. Where the FUCK is MY large house I can live in? Where's Shawn's? Why do people like us get small, running down places or have to scrounge and pray for a decent place while people like you have shit handed to you to mess up? ....You all make me sick. Especially John Andrew.

The ONLY dude I feel sorry for was Cartwright (sp?). Guy was clean, had his room in order, he didn't leave a mess anywhere, he cleaned after himself, and knew how to flush a toilet (something half of you guys couldn't grasp), and the guy was super freaken nice and cool. That guy doesn't deserve to be kicked out. But the rest of you, the hell with you. May Her Grace shave your thread. And I hope you all have learned your lesson on making your home a shit den.

01:01pm 27/01/2010
mood: angry

Goin' to FF, want to move, x-box ORODed... I want to set things on fire =\ Or eat like, a double thing of orange chicken. No, fuck that, orange chicken WHILE burning stuff. Fuck yah. I have nothing to say right now. Stupid net cutting on an' off X/

cut for other vids you can skipCollapse )
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04:55pm 26/10/2009
mood: gloomy
Well, it's nearing the end of October... Haven't done much really. Only new things so far is me, Ace, and Pinko are moving into a friend's house to save up money to get a better place of our own, my computer *might* be fixed soon (hopefully, if the hard drive works that is), and I've been playing some Brutal Legend and Animal Crossing: City Folk when I can. No one plays Animal Crossing really so I kinda took over the town. Pretty much paid off the house debt (just have +4k to go), but I bought an entire Sweets set for my upstairs and have a decent theme set up in the main room and basement (I'm going to work on getting the Modern set to switch upstairs. Right now, it's a sort of Ranch set). Next couple of weeks I'll be axing down the trees with my Silver Axe (they had the fountain and forever couldn't get a silver or gold axe. I try once and get the silver right away. I got gold and gave it to Pinko since she wanted it) and setting up the place with the fruit in different areas of the town. Pic to show plan:

Peaches are the native fruit so that's why it's on the dinky island. The orange house highlighted is my house =B

In more real life stuff: ...I miss everyone back in Bullhead =c The conversations or random debates we had, just hanging out or going to the movies/lake, playing Brawl and Left4Dead a lot... I miss the company and the music and random shenanigans that went on in the house. I haven't been able to catch Shawn online at all, and was lucky to play a whole campaign of Dead Air that one time months ago... Man... it's been far too long. Sometimes it does bother me playing Brutal Legend as it reminds me so much of the time I spent with him, Mike, and Jeremy (as those guys DO like their metal).

At some point, if possible, I'd like to fly back and visit for a while. Or at least fly Shawn here for a month or two. I know he'd hate the flight, but it would be an easier/cheaper way. It'd have to be around this time of year too. It's been 70*F most of the month, 50*F from when it would rain (and it's actual wet rain, not humid mist crap like in Bullhead). Hell, I've been informed Hurst, TX gets like 2 weeks of snow in the winter time (not at once, but still more then Bullhead's ever gotten). Having a place where grass can grow naturally, there are trees instead of oleanders, eucalyptus, or cacti, the weeds here are SUNFLOWERS, and it has actual seasons and weather (which feels a bit odd having it actually cold when it SHOULD BE), I'm sure he'd dig it. At least for the snow and awesome forested park.

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LOL god....   
12:47pm 01/10/2009
mood: bouncy

Saw Bill Maher last night. The last New Rule was something about if America can't do anything to fix itself, then the national animal should be replaced to this puppy =B

God I wish I haddn't missed so much of his show D=

I'll update this some other day.
"...the hammer is my penis."   
05:35pm 22/08/2009
  Saw Ponyo last night =3 It's pretty neat ^^ It's story flows a tad more like Kiki's Delivery Service, with the main conflict of the story being something more of a suddle thing. Even when the Apocalypse How is thrown in, it's more of a no biggie for the characters. In fact, only mac daddy pimp Fujimoto seemed to be the only one worrying about the end of the world. Ahhh well... The movie had it's charm and was a nice refreasher after seeing so many live action or CGI movies the past few years. I'm a tad excited to see Disney's The Princess and the Frog. It's been HOW many years since Disney made a traditional 'toon?

Other movies I've seen so far:

Ice Age 3 - wasn't that bad. Nice little time-passer movie actually. First holy-shit-3D movie I've ever seen too. With how crazy that is, it makes the idea of watching The Final Destination and Cloudy with the Chance of Meatballs sound good (the last 3D movie I seen was back when I was young at Disney Land, starring Michal Jackson in some future acid trip movie)

Transformers 2- I did like, but wasn't that impressed. I guess with how it seemed to drag on, the fact they churned at the main characters a bit too much, me having to miss some of the movie as I was sick and needed to step out, and the rest of the trip of having some people just go "OH MY GOD THIS IS THE GREATEST MOVIE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!" which made my view on it scew a bit. FAR better then the first one if you ignor the fact some of the characters didn't talk much or fell off the Ark and died, but not really =P

(not in theatres) [REC] AND Quarentine- Dude, forget the crappy US version, get the spanish one. It's better. Better acting, better characters, real situation feeling, more story explination (all in a language I don't speak even =O ), and it makes more sense with the setting and style. Awsome thing the spanish movie has the US one failed at? HIDING THE CAMERA MAN. Even when you see him, you don't see his face. Ever. In the US, first twenty seconds, you see him (and they made him black *rolls eyes*).

I'd list off more movies, but good god am I tired of trying to rewrite this and use workable coding =\ Long story short: Movies are coming out and look GREAT! There's a lot I wanna see coming out soon (closest would be 9 so far since it's out in a week or so).

Shawn, get Netflix. It's cool! You can stream some movies on the x-box, and it's cheaper to rent movies from there then having cable to *hopefully* find a movie on (which will be censor butchered), and they have a suprisingly HUGE selection to watch (Music Man, Noises Off and many more =3 ). Also, buy/see Dr. Horrible's Sing-a-long Blog!!!
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Elvis was an alien!!!!   
03:51pm 14/08/2009
mood: angry
My computer is Dead. D-E-D, dead. First the thing has it's bricking moments, then I move and it's at my mom's house for a month. Now? I get it back, it's been repacked in a different box, the metally bits are corroded/rusting like it suffered water damage, and the insides smelled like wet moldy clothes (that is, when the smell of fried electronics dissipated =C ). I had the preminition it was gonna keel. I looked at it after I pulled it out and seen it look like it traveled through TIME to get to me, and knew it would buy it when some of the connecty parts made a "cleeeeeerch"-like sound of it being possably water damaged as well.

TL;DR: My computer dun fucked up. Iz brokes and broke the record of computer owned by me and WORKING (2005-2009). Rest in peace....

Hopefully my thumbed up monitor (thanks Hitler, for getting EVERY INCH OF THE SCREEN MUCKLED UP WITH THUMB SPOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) and the important guts of the computer still work enough where it *might* get shoved into newer computer parts to where it'll be like a renivation. I have low expectations personally. I'm not angry/sad that my computer is dead. What kills me is I have *so* many pictures saved on it that I won't get back. Vids, pictures, songs, and Flash files lost prolly.... Good god, Hoodah's, Muzz's, and so many other people's work I had saved in bulk but now lost. It's like how I lost some of Amberdrake's stuff and Fala's things when my second and third computer cacked. *sighs* Aside from that, there's also photoshope 7 and Flash I had running on it that I hope I can get from Kris (or Ace if I can't get Kris to send it... I just don't wanna bug Ace as Kris should already have those programs saved somewhere). THis month I kinda prepared myself to expect the worse, so, yeah... Thousands of pictures lost isn't a big deal. Not compared to one of my computers having a good +4 years of research I worked on personally get lost... *shakes head, ears drooping* And that computer didn't have USB slots so even *if* I could borrow someone's external, I couldn't =C
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Oh hi! I remember you =3 Thanks for killing a little of my insides ^^   
10:58am 01/06/2009
mood: crappy
*major sigh*Collapse )


Dreams are awesome. They can make you feel bad too.
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Meme to bump the bad crap   
08:18pm 15/05/2009
mood: hungry
1) Who are you?

2) Are we friends?

3) When and how did we meet?

4) Would you kiss me?

5) Give me a nickname and explain why.

6) Describe me in 1 word.

7) What was your first impression of me?

8) Do you still think the same?

9) What reminds you of me?

10) If you could give me anything, what would it be?

11) How well do you know me?

12) Would you meet up with me?

13) Are you gonna put this in your journal and see what I say about you?
Journal entry   
09:02pm 13/05/2009
mood: depressed
at first i had a lot to say,
some dream to share and feelings of joy.

nNow no need to speaking here,
knocked down a lot of pegs and just not feeling koovy.

amazin' how one simple word can lead to a small conversation that can just tug at that area, huh? you know that area, right? the one that acts like, a newly stitched up wound, but then there's that one snippit and some of those threads undo, so that hole is pullled open kinda? yeah, kinda like that.

words have meaning. most do not. those that do are overlooked, missread, or just simply ignored. i have a question; why is it everything must absolutly be one way? why? i don't get it. genders can be changed, religious beliefs can be switched, way of home can be moved. but why must there be a quota of what one is?

people speak of destiny, of karma, the life path to lead through time... nothing is set, but some things cannot be changed. nothing is forever, but lead of will won't easily stray.

yet all in all, it is the same. a quota of how one must be to be. not everyone can reach that. not everyone is able to. it can be because you're too weak, or you're not ready to, or sometimes you might have been but due to past events, you're unable to reach it.

not too many people know this, or will admit this is true. very few accept others who aren't up to par with how "people should be". to those people, i thank you for being so open and understanding. it's a nice change then to hear, say, someone try and tell you something to try and relate to you, then pity you for not being one of those people who isn't level with the rest of the world and asumes you speak something you are not when they don't know what the fuck is there.

i hate the Presence and how i cannot change anything. i can deal with how i am, and can kinda get used to hearing that same thing over and over again, but to hear it come from a friend...

....three stiches in, two yanked out....
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Hey March! (filler untill tonight)   
03:55pm 21/04/2009
mood: happy

And with April moving on and things feeling loads better, I update with good thought ^^ I'm a bit more at ease with things and don't feel so damn crappy inside now. With May coming up, well, lots of things to look forward to. Pinko might be able to visit next month, Shawn looks forward to awesome grill more often, with the winds dying and heat picking up we might get more swim time at the lake, and, well, May is sometimes a good month. Not always, but usually nice ^^ So, who knows?
11:58pm 23/03/2009
mood: tired
blergCollapse )


I hate March and wish it would end, but things are doing alright. Feel worried still.

I can seem like two different people compared from online to offline. This is true among lots of people anyways. My story is I'm not pretending to be someone online or off, I just have issues and sometimes things are easier for me to do online compared to off and vice verca. I'm not two different people, just two different sides that still come from one whole. Being able to see that my sides are different but so close it's freakin' the same? That just means you have to look past everything and not only get to know me, but god damn get to KNOW me. I'm simple, but complexed due to having no life and having a simple mind but having issues and a broken soul.
(K) sadness   
02:33am 13/02/2009
mood: Baaaaaw
Last night, or, like, whatever, we visited Jeremy and walked up to Circle K to get some Coke for booze (or, whatever). We all traded stories of how sucky our lives had been, weather it was mental or physical abuse or some trauma or another and scored free pity hotdogs from the clerk. Awesome.

Funny how our group and other people around us in smaller, not as connected groups still have one major thing in common: We're all fucked up in one way or another and have lost time in life. Another thing, but is minor and isn't always true to everyone is there is a good chance there is some kind of relationship problem in there too. Like, I know no one will 100% know/get/accept me and even if they did, there's the whole thing where I can't contribute in any way so I'd be a worthless person in the relationship (I will not allow myself to be one of those people who has a mate but is the guy who has no job/too low paying of one and is too "sheltered" from how the world works like paying bills or doing taxes).

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Dreams update   
10:54am 25/01/2009
mood: aggravated
Okay, okay.... dreams, you need to let me have some normality or at least stop making it feel like I'm playing a Quantum Leap game =U
Just a rund down of dreams I had lately...:
*was eating a delicious burrito ^^

*saw a movie preview for 'Push' (though my version didn't have all them other powers and didn't have Dakota Fanning in it)

*I chewed apart Jerri's purse. Maybe out of frustration or bordom. ....don't you damn dare laugh >8V

*I watched Mike set a school bus on fire (don't know what the hell that was about o0 ).

*and recently- Well, the house I'm in was the same, just, different.... It wasn't falling apart or anything (furnature was different too). This town and all the people were totally different too. Just, the town layout (at least the road in this area) and Shawn's house/shape was the same. Everyone I knew wasn't here, not even myself. I got the role of playing some girl (prolly same age as me) and, of coarse, don't get to have a dream of eating ice cream or relaxing... I get to have the doom dread of having the IRS (Institute for Recovered Souls) want to kill me. Sound fun, huh? For the most part, I got to have visions of some suit park a car at the corner of the street (at the end, where Talc Plz turns from Talc Rd for those who know my liveabouts), and he'd walk down the road and into the house, pulling a really shiny gun from his coat pocket. I asume he was there to kill me. I mean, I was dubbed as "a horrible soul that must be cleansed". I guess I spent like two days, seeing this vision and knowing they were going to kill me, but no one actually came... I was an artist so I got to draw stuff (and much better quality then what I can do now, moreso since I worked with chalks and inks, materials I stole from a store XD ).

Guess that is pretty much it for that dream though... Had visions, was scared for when I'd actually be confronted, and just drew. Kinda wierd that nothing did happen... Usually dreams that show impending doom and let me know things are supposed to happen, well, happens. Here, wull, I guess I was just lucky to have woken up instead of sleeping in late like I had planned...

I think I'd rather have dreams where I get to sleep, or swim with otters, or have some relaxing time at Sulphir's sauna or something then have to run from things/people, save a certian amount of people in some prison, or to figure out how to save *one* person in a cursed town (which has their own happy guards to come after me when I am there for so long).... I hate these dreams that either make no sense and are boring or feel like work X/
Fuck Brawl online mode >=[   
05:09pm 11/10/2008
mood: *eats the Wii*
There's no way in hell I'll play online again. I feel so damn sick right now.... Yeah, I got beat in two matches. One was me being Pit, and half my movement/attacks/ANYTHING didn't work. Then I was Dedede, and found slow characters turbo-ultra-mondo SUCK ASS. I'm so furious.... I think what adds the stabs into my lack of online enjoyment is seeing a text box pop up on my friend's name (like "So long n_n") and he did have some ugh-worthy items (so far, I seen cracker launcher, super scope, springboard, pitfall, bob-omb, sticky, and (suprise suprise) a Smash token). But even if I got used to the items, and got used to playing people I don't know, the whole lagging my attacks, movements, guard/roll/dodge is fucking agrivating as hell. I swear to god I loath it. I'd rather watch Eragon, in the hottest day of summer, with no swamper running, sunlight right on me, while eating onions then play Brawl online. Because I feel just as sick being so fucking mad at the game not letting me do what I tell it to do.

Nintendo, you fucking assholes. I stuck up with you for ages and still prefer your consols/games then any other. But you just don't know how the hell to do online play D= Only online games I'll play now are Pokemon Pearl, Animal Crossing WW, and if we get the Wii Animal Crossing, that. You can't fuck up Animal Crossing Wii Nintendo. You know how I know? Your damn online system is ONLY MENT for Animal Crossing. ....stupid simple online play....

You know what's sad? The first round was canceled. I was actually doing GOOD and the game didn't lag as much, but the fucking Wii said "HOLY SHIT, I'M NOT LAGGING ENOUGH! ERROR CODE 0293U092U5O P4IJT34JTVI3HR!" and locked up. It didn't turn the Wii into a Mac (like it did before on me when I tried a random play and it worked with Kris and Jeremy)... But still... Game is tolerable, it locks. Game sucks fucking balls, it works enough to piss me off.

So here I sit, still angry and sick, almost thinking if I even want to just see the damn game turned on anytime soon let alone play online >8E3
07:17pm 08/10/2008
mood: I has a bad migrane D=
IHOP was really good ^^ Cutting mats was pretty fun too. Though, where were downsides... I couldn't cut the mats as good as I liked (and the small sword wasn't sharp X/ ), I shoulda not eaten anything all day so I could have eaten my order at IHOP (I didn't finish the eggs or hashbrowns, and that's sad as the last time I was at IHOP, I had the stuffed french toast, ate all of the side order, had cinnamon bun french toast, and ate the rest of Mike's french toast...), and all and all, after the day was done and the meal was eaten, I was turbo tired... Mike and Shawn REALLY wanted to do something else, but I had woken up really early in the day and only had maybe an hour nap before Mike showed up, so, I couldn't stay up if I wanted to (the meal helped lul me down too). My morning happy mood was quickly dashed when my leg decited to suprise twist up, hurting most of the morning, and I had the fun to sit here alone (well, figuratively speaking, Ray went out again and Shawn is asleep) trying not to kill Tilda because she won't leave the damn window alone (and if she gets out, game over, I'm not hunting her down or calling her back). ...ugh... I hate cats X/

On a lighter note of everything, I did find a few new wiki's to play around in.
12:05pm 07/10/2008
mood: bouncy
Got a new mouse (yay for Guild Wars and Second Life playing!!!!), gonna cut mats, got to IHOP, sometime there will be a trip to Vegas for sake! Joy!!!! 8D